


Let yourself be loved

by BubbalooBabe



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Anal Sex, Feminization, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mello has, Not beta Read srry T~T, Smut, Toxic Masculinity, Unconventional Relationship, cuz they both love each other but Mello has... issues, yummy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:08:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28037454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BubbalooBabe/pseuds/BubbalooBabe
Summary: Mello struggles with his homophobic tendencies while balls deep in Near.
Relationships: Mello | Mihael Keehl/Near | Nate River
Comments: 5
Kudos: 59





	Let yourself be loved

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first time posting on here so plz be nice 2 me >~< and enjoy :)

Mello... is not gay.

If he were having sex with a boy, then he’d be able to understand if someone _were_ to call him gay, though, of course, they’d still be beaten black and blue.

But he wasn’t having sex with a boy.

He was having sex with Near.

Soft and petite, doe eyed Near with long and girly hair that fell into wisps around him like a halo when they fucked, strands sticking to his pink cheeks from drool dripping from his dainty mouth acting like a paste. He was small and cute, pretty even, and had the most perfect way of vocalizing his pleasure in which he’d give light and airy “ah’s!” and “mm’s!”, like he was doing now. 

It was enough to make him forget Near had a cock, too.

“Damn, your pussy’s gushy.” Mello thought out loud, hoping the wobble in his voice from the effort to keep it steady and moan free had gone unnoticed by Near. 

He had him on his back, arms over his head and shirt still buttoned on but pushed up to expose as much pale torso as possible. Near had been too impatient to fully undress.

They had barely just begun, but the smaller boys legs were already trembling on his shoulders. He took a moment to grab and press them together to the side, doing his best to try and keep the others’ erection out of sight. He began moving again, resuming the sounds of wet skin on skin and of course, Near’s low moans, sweet like chocolate.

“Mm...ah! Mello... you feel so good inside me.” Near laid his hand on his stomach, because he swore he could feel Mello’s cock poking through it.

Mello used his free hand to run up and down Near’s side, appreciating the minimal curves he had to offer.

He leaned back to watch as Near’s body swallowed him whole, not caring much when the lube he’d used an excessive of began to dribble onto the rough and itchy motel carpet, adding to its many stains. He liked this intimate feeling they both knew exceeded past just sex, though it was never mentioned out loud, and he enjoyed the sight of it, too, as long as he didn’t make direct eye contact with Near’s...

Mello bit at his squishy calf, feeling Near’s foot give a slight kick out of reflex.

He rarely went easy on Near, despite how delicate and fragile he looked in comparison to the filthy, grimy setting of whatever motel room they’d chosen for the night made him look. If Near ever, even for a fleeting second, thought to question his manhood, however improbable it was, the rough breeding he’d give him would be enough to fuck the temptation out of him.

“Keep your tits out for me,” Mello nearly growled, shoving the little sheep’s shirt that had slipped down with all their frantic movements back up. Near brought the end of the fabric up to his mouth and clamped it between his teeth to keep it from falling again, using his free hands to fondle and grope his flat chest, pinching at the pink nubs, because he liked it, and he knew Mello liked it, too.

The blond threw his head back and he permitted himself a single moan, because if he felt if he didn’t let out some of the pressure that had built up inside him, he’d surely bust.

“Fuck,” Mello moaned, because damn, Near’s wet cunt was squeezing him so good and tight and because damn, he hadn’t meant to moan that loud.

His eyes snapped open. Men weren’t supposed to make those types of noises. 

He rushed to compensate for his mistake.

“Take it, Near, take it.” He thrust in and out of him in a force that was almost punishing, pushing high pants through the cloth in Near’s mouth. He slapped the side of his ass, once, then twice, finally making him drop the damp shirt as a yelp was yanked from his throat.

“Mello, hah! G-God!” Near whined, blindly grasping around the floor in search of anything to hold onto for purchase. He found Mello’s discarded shirt he’d helped him remove and brought it up to hide his face and pleading sounds.

Mello scowled at Near using the Lord’s name in vain, but didn’t say anything about it, focusing instead on slowing down. Though he had plenty of stamina, he was sure Near didn’t even have half as much as he did to keep up.

Near uncovered his face at the warmer treatment, spreading his legs again and wrapping them around Mello’s waist this time. He pulled at the rosary that hung between them from Mello’s neck and used it to gently bring him down towards himself. Which Mello allowed, because he’d felt a little bad when he saw Near rubbing at the reddening spot he’d hit a little harder than usual, even by his standards.

Near’s arms wrapped around him in an embrace, as if he were trying to mold their bodies even deeper into each other than they already were. Mello’s face ended buried in his shoulder, and he took in the sweet smell of Near’s natural scent, resisting the urge to sneeze as the loose, white strands of hair tickled his nose.

“Ah... Mello. Mih- Mello.”

It took him a moment to realize Near was calling his name to get his attention more than he was actually moaning it.

“Near.” He acknowledged.

“It’s okay,” His voice was soft and deep like the pace Mello’s hips had set, “It’s okay to like this.”

Near stroked his hair gingerly, hair that had long since grown from its styled, childish bob cut, and Mello swore he felt him nuzzle it.

“You’re so smart,” his mouth was right next to his ear, making his voice loud and deafening, “You should know by now that there’s nothing wrong with this, Mello, and it certainly does not make you any less of a m-“

Mello silenced him with a kiss. 

He knew how much Near hated to be interrupted, and he was glad he was close enough to avoid seeing the annoyed expression Near definitely had on, but he couldn’t help it. He wasn’t here to think.

He ran a hand through Near’s own hair and pulled it at the scalp the way he knew he liked, trying to get his brain focus more on his body and keep him quite. Well, quite as in no more actual coherent words coming out of him.

Mello’s thrusting, which had become much kinder than when they had started, didn’t stop, even when Near warned that he was close, which ended up muffled by Mello’s lips. He didn’t want to risk him speaking again.

He slid his hands into Near’s softer, slimmer ones and pinned them to the floor. Something even rarer for him to do, and Near clung to them, tight like a vice, willing Mello to keep them there forever.

Near’s back arched and his eyes screwed shut. He shivered as if he were cold and he came onto his stomach in three short bursts, promptly feeling the evidence of his orgasm roll down the side of his waist.

Mello kept fucking into him until the twitches Near’s hole made from being overstimulated got to him, and he followed in a drawn out curse, not at all as quite as Near’s climax had been, which irritated him, but it was done now.

He pulled off Near’s body, just enough to get a good look at the others face and not an inch more. He seemed to think for a moment, before slowly leaning in and pressing his lips to Near’s cheek in the most tender way that it couldn’t have been for nothing.

For a second, he looked as if...

Near winced as Mello pulled out of him quick and carelessly.

“I hope you got a plan B or something.” He wiped his hands on his pants that he hadn’t taken off completely.

Near sat up, pulling his wrinkled shirt down as far as it would go, all of a sudden feeling too naked as he watched Mello begin to redress and gather the few things he’d brought to their regular meetup.

He opened the motel door that Near had practically memorized from staring at it so long as he waited for Mello in a creek that surely the whole hallway heard. He paused to stare back at Near like he wanted to say something that would both tear and heal his beliefs and sense of self.

But no exchange of words proceeded. He slipped out and blended into the night with only an exasperated bite to one of his chocolate bars, letting the door swing shut for him.

With Mello now gone, there was a ringing in the air, as well as a coldness to it, that Near hadn’t noticed before.

He dragged himself to the edge of the single bed, resting his cheek on the queer smelling sheets and sighed.

Maybe he’ll get through to him next time.

**Author's Note:**

> tell me what u think!! did u love it hate it don’t hesitate to let me know! much luv :33


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